Poem (5/4/13) 

What ifs are circling my mind again
Minutes before I sleep, these thoughts begin to bend
The last five minutes as I lay, are always the worst
In this moment, every night, my memories crave to thirst

Powerless, powerless, to each and every flash
Exhaustion, I’ve come to fear, breaks open the latch
Falling fast, falling hard, falling flat on my face
I couldn’t miss my chance, but I moved at too fast a pace

We lost our self-control, so we tried to command each other
Mental abuse, trust misuse, never how to love another
We were broken puzzle pieces, never meant to be apart
Trying to fit, forced together, a beautiful way to start

We refused to say goodbye, we never really did
Through the window I’d confess, the love I never hid
One last see you soon, was not meant to be
I’ll never know, did you trust me or my split personality?

In your smile, I melted, thoroughly I bent
In your eyes, enamored, strongest I’d ever been
In your hands, tighter, so scared to let go
In your scent, no longer, never again will I know

And you might hate me now because I’m better than before
Let’s pretend to be teenagers forever. No more, no more.
You begged me not to go, you begged me to stay
These promises you left behind, I watch as they decay
In you, a lesson, once more I’ll learn to love
Once more, I see me, I can see me again (falling from above)

Never regret anything that made you smile
And sure as hell my love, you did, although it’s been a while
I promised I’d never regret all those firsts
Intertwined, I lay myself and I curse
My word is safe, my word is yours
These memories are mine, the best and the worst

I remember every first kiss, I remember every embrace
I remember every marathon, and every Mario Kart race
I remember every argument, I remember all the tears
I remember that last night, I fought to realize your fear

And whatever happens, happens, these words I told you
What happened, happened, there’s nothing left to lose
And one last time, I want you to believe this line.
In my heart, I can only thank you. No longer mine.

    1. shonenjonah posted this